Strange Bloomberg Headlines

Brokers Go Gray as Youth Unsustainable Without Cold...

Tue, 14 May 2013 20:07:00 +0200

Brokers Go Gray as Youth Unsustainable Without Cold Calls

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-05-14/brokers-go-gray-as-youth-unsustainable-without-cold-calls.html

(submitted by R.A. Spurge)

whitehouse: A Mother’s Day present from health care reform:...

Sun, 12 May 2013 18:59:00 +0200

A Mother’s Day present from health care reform: Being a mom will no longer be a pre-existing condition. http://wh.gov/JPY7

Great ad - direct, effective.

Of course, it might have actually made a difference in public opinion f it had been placed in major newspapers and websites three years ago. Nice try, though.

Fed Bridges Gap to Earnings Pickup in Modest U.S. Growth

Sat, 11 May 2013 20:00:16 +0200

Fed Bridges Gap to Earnings Pickup in Modest U.S. Growth:

Does this headline make any sense?

No. No, it does not.

Nude Tattoo Artist Suffers as Polar Bears Fret in Hong Kong Show: Review

Tue, 07 May 2013 21:43:34 +0200

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-05-06/tattoo-artist-suffers-polar-bears-fret-in-hong-kong-show.html

nuf said

basilisc: “In addition to making a mannequin target that looks...

Mon, 06 May 2013 19:12:20 +0200

basilisc:

“In addition to making a mannequin target that looks like President Barack Obama, Zombie Industries sells a mannequin called simply “The Ex” — a large-breasted dummy that “bleeds” when shot.”

- Talking Points Memo

This has to be a hoax. Can’t possibly be true. Can it?

If it’s true, we live in a sick, sick, sick society.

basilisc: Deranged sorority girl on gun control. Brilliant (and...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 10:35:28 +0200

basilisc:

Deranged sorority girl on gun control. Brilliant (and NSFW).

Flapper Cleopatra Woos Julie in Sexy Black Dress

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:21:21 +0200

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-04-08/flapper-cleopatra-seduces-caesar-in-sexy-black-dress.html

Another doozy from Muse.

Forex During Birth Shows Asian Women Top Men Private Bankers

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:21:00 +0200

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-04-09/forex-in-delivery-room-shows-asian-women-wealth-managers-top-men.html

enjoy!

(Submitted by … someone. Turns out Tumblr only tells you who submitted someone if they give you an URL. Will remember this from now on.)

Trailer Park to Harvard Put Bird on Course to Change U.S.

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 20:20:47 +0200

Trailer Park to Harvard Put Bird on Course to Change U.S.:

Bloomberg keeps getting more creative in their use of “to”.

(submitted by R Spurge).

BMW to Amazon Space Demand Spurs Rush to Inland Empire

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 20:43:50 +0200

BMW to Amazon Space Demand Spurs Rush to Inland Empire

Mubarak Jailmate Ezz Fends Off Takeovers as Steelmaker Seeks Expansion

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:28:44 +0200

Mubarak Jailmate Ezz Fends Off Takeovers as Steelmaker Seeks Expansion:

This headline starts off as an international-news/dictators-on-trial story, and ends as an international-business/spotlight-on-an-emerging-country-mogul story. Neat trick!

basilisc: Cartoonists demand action.

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:28:28 +0200

basilisc:

Cartoonists demand action.

Sudden clarity moment

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 19:29:19 +0200

basilisc:

The only reason so many Republicans voted to proceed with debate on the background checks measure was to force red-state Democrats - Heitkamp, Begich et al - to vote on the bill. And at that point it will be win-win: either the red-state Dems will vote for “gun control”, providing endless fodder for attack ads, or they will vote against it, inflicting a high-profile political defeat on Reid and Obama.

As usual, Republicans are many laps ahead of Democrats in terms of political savvy.

This one’s a juxtaposition - two headlines currently one atop the other on my Bloomberg home...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 22:22:11 +0200

This one’s a juxtaposition - two headlines currently one atop the other on my Bloomberg home page:

Obama Programs Derided by Republicans as Pejorative Entitlements

and

New Deal for Roosevelt’s TVA Seen as Hard Sell for Obama

The TVA, of course, provides subsidized electricity to millions of people in seven Southern states - who are overwhelmingly represented by Republican Senators and Representatives. Who are overwhelmingly determined to fight tooth and nail to make sure their constituents continue to get - you could say, remain entitled to - subsidized electricity. From a massive, government-owned-and-operated monopoly.

To put it another way, Republicans actually don’t give a flying f-ck about free market ideology, least of all when it would impede their efforts to suck robustly at the government’s teat.

But we already knew that.