February 2012
9 posts
Canadian Economy Suffers From Dollar Parity's... →
What?
Feb 21st
1 note
Avoid $2,000 Bottles of Aging Vintages, Go With... →
Somehow I doubt that someone who buys $2000 bottles of wine is really interested in your advice, John. Or anyone’s advice.
Feb 13th
Jeremy Lin Drives Knicks’ Sales as MSG Shares... →
This is really an unfortunate stereotype - Chinese food can be quite tasty without MSG.
Feb 13th
Tax Liens Promising 18% Returns May Be Risky →
Collecting unpaid taxes on overvalued properties in a collapsing housing market may be risky? Ya think?
Feb 13th
No Women on Facebook Board Shows White Male’s... →
(typo - should be either “No women show”, or “No woman shows”) Well, I guess it’s good news that none of the female board members at Facebook can prove that the company’s social agenda is influenced by a white male. But maybe they’re a little biased?
Feb 3rd
Prostitutes Stand Up for Paul Donating Their Tips →
It’s nice that they’re backing his charitable activities, but how did Paul get the prostitutes’ tips to begin with? Or maybe I’m reading the headline wrong. In which case it’s impressive a 76-year-old guy can do it standing up - that can be really tiring.
Feb 3rd
Race for the cure to being relevant →
Ed of ginandtacos owns the Komen issue.
Feb 2nd
Feb 2nd
5,163 notes
Sustainability: No One Knows What It Means But... →
What makes this headline interesting is that it’s part of a permanent news section that’s titled, um, ”Sustainability”. And that it’s followed by a link to “More sustainability news”.
Feb 1st
January 2012
12 posts
Facebook’s Sandberg Friends Gaga to Obama as IPO... →
I think this headline is missing a verb and a few prepositions, but I have no idea which ones. 
Jan 31st
1 note
How Kenya Is Building a Sustainable Banana →
And when they’re finished, they’ll start work on a second sustainable banana.
Jan 31st
Jan 31st
23 notes
Jan 25th
132 notes
Top Woman in Oil to Head $225 Billion Plan as... →
Mmmm … Brazilian women in oil … I really, really need to channel my imagination more productively.
Jan 24th
Millionaires Back Buffett Tax If They’re Exempt →
Actually this one may fit better at the onionlike tumblr.
Jan 18th
U.K. Smart-Meter Plan May Fail Old People →
Jan 17th
Lazard Names Kurtz Restructuring Chief to Take... →
The horror. The horror …
Jan 16th
Malta Lures Hedge Funds With 300 Days of Sun Aided... →
Talk about bureaucratic overreach!
Jan 9th
Mishkin’s Mixes Jewish Cuisine, Pork, Guantanamo... →
Jan 6th
1 note
Sheikh Fahad Holding IPad Gazes at Breitling... →
Lesson: if you really want to win those big-time horse races, stop looking at your watch & computer and get moving.
Jan 6th
Sex Toy Designer Screaming O Pushes Past Novelty... →
This is one of those cases where adding punctuation might help, or might not.
Jan 2nd
1 note
December 2011
4 posts
Putin's goal of benchmark Urals seen in Rotterdam... →
(fixed link)
Dec 29th
1 note
Merkel Cabinet Backs Bank-Rescue Fund Revival →
So providing money to insolvent German banks is obviously prudent and necessary to prevent systemic risk. But providing money to insolvent members of the eurozone is unthinkable because it generates moral hazard. Riiight.
Dec 14th
Eight Ferraris Crash at ‘Gathering of Narcissists’ →
Dec 5th
2 notes
Gingrich Said Freddie Mac Could Be Good Model for... →
Dec 2nd
November 2011
3 posts
Gingrich Bounce Shows Geek Love Can Still Blossom:... →
Or it shows that right-wing hack columnists can still show embarrassingly heartfelt levels of affection for right-wing hack blowhard politicians. It shows one of those two things.
Nov 24th
Fewer TSA Complaints Belie Marx Brothers Label →
Nov 18th
Obama Meets Gillard as Embattled First Leaders... →
Evokes visions of a guy and a gal in dented armor, next to a huge pile of rare earth metals.
Nov 14th
October 2011
11 posts
Colonel Sanders Devouring Little Sheep in China... →
Well, they looked like little chickens. Tasted like them too.
Oct 31st
Crabs Feasting on Dead at Gallipoli Cooked in... →
Oct 21st
Billionaire Dethrones Kings in Beer to Burgers as... →
Oct 20th
3 notes
J&J Vaginal Mesh Based on Recalled Device →
Now where did I put that device? I just can’t recall. Oh, wait … OK, posting this is a sign of immaturity. Actual quote from the article: “‘The FDA got caught with their pants down, ’ said Thomas Margolis, a pelvic surgeon from Burlingame, California, … ”
Oct 20th
2 notes
London Mansion Resurfaces on Hedge-Fund Row →
They mean a mansion was converted into offices and has now been converted back. But the imagery of mansions disappearing and resurfacing is intriguing.
Oct 18th
Fed Pays Lip Service to Beef to Skirt Ridicule →
Oct 14th
1 note
Strauss-Kahn’s Image Still ‘Stained’ by Cases →
Don’t blame me, says the headline-writer - it was the guy in the article who said “stained”. No, really.
Oct 14th
1 note
Senate Blocks Obama’s $447B Job Creation Plan →
See, from the headline you might think that the Senate voted against the plan. But from the text you can see that actually a majority of the Senate voted to bring it to a vote. It’s really much, much too late in the game to say the filibuster is an “arcane rule” - if Democrats haven’t made this into a major, populist issue by now, as part of a broader attack on Republican...
Oct 12th
China Baby-Formula Maker Buying Arsenic Debt Shows... →
Oct 7th
The stupidest argument ever
So now that my readership has skyrocketed into the double-digits, can I say something about the profound stupidity of the argument that goes like this: “Hey, if you’re rich and you think rich people should pay more taxes, why don’t you just give the government your money, huh????!!!???”? This is a central part of the 2012 Republican platform, apparently. I also recently saw...
Oct 5th
Oral Sex May Cause More Throat Cancer Than Smoking... →
Oral sex causes smoking? Who knew? Also, how long after HPV becomes a majority-male disease will the religious right drop their objections to vaccinating against it? Two seconds? One?
Oct 4th
September 2011
5 posts
Saudi Woman Driver Sentenced to 10 Lashes After... →
Don’t want the gals to get the wrong ideas. Oh, and is anyone starting to wonder what “the right to vote” means in an absolutist monarchy?
Sep 28th
Saudi King Grants Women Right to Vote →
Not the syntax this time, just the fact that this is taking place in 2011. What’s next, letting them drive?
Sep 26th
HP Reeling Accelerates CEO Succession Crisis →
Sep 22nd
Men Selling Panties May End in Saudi Arabia →
But the headline is actually pretty accurate.
Sep 12th
GE Beating S&P Sets Profit Goal After Immelt... →
Sep 6th
August 2011
4 posts
Solar Purge Drives Weakest Into Buyouts, to Spur... →
Aug 30th
AT&T Bid for T-Mobile Faces Rhodes-Scholar Review... →
The woman heading the antitrust review was once a Rhodes Scholar (she’s now 50 years old). Is that an important enough piece of information to merit space in a headline?
Aug 11th
PepsiCo Joins Fossil Bracing for Weak Demand →
Aug 10th
Silent Scream of Swiss Franc Shows Great... →
Aug 4th
July 2011
1 post
Beal Becomes Billionaire With FDIC Assets as He... →
Jul 4th
June 2011
2 posts
Branson's Red Stiletto Handouts Complicate Virgin... →
Changed a moment ago to “Branson’s Attachment Make Virgin Investor Search Tough”, which is ungrammatical and also strange.
Jun 17th